Monday Morning Slack Off Report

When you come in on Monday, and you’re not feelin’ real well, does anyone ever say to you, ‘Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays’?

  • Earwax, type A blood, skin color, malaria… a short essay on the failure of current racial classifications and explanations for why humans have developed into such a varied species. For instance, why is it that those of African/Asian descent tend to have darker eyes? Is there a biological reason for it? This was an essay that was published in my anthropology textbook in college and I find it fascinating still. A Racial Odyssey by Boyce Rensberger. For all the knowledge junkies out there.

More after the jump…

  • Before the “Dick in a Box” and “More Cowbell” , there was Matt Foley, Canteen Boy, Oops I Crapped my Pants, Land Shark, and Bill Swerski’s SuperFans. Relive every season of SNL again. Saturday Night Live Transcripts. Big ups to my homeboy JJ for the link.

  • When I was in law school, I played that stupid Westlaw Trivia game every day. I even had my undergraduate roommate underlings/roommates play for me when I was overseas and not able to access the internet. I was committed. Also I liked the instant win game. What did I get for my three years of tireless effort? A stereo and some martini glasses. As for the instant win game, I think I won a $50 gift certificate once. Awesome. There’s something about pressing a button to see if you won that appeals to that slightly gambling addicted side of me. That’s why I like the Shutterfly Fall Memories contest. I just want to win that $200 shopping spree. It’s not like I’ll win as this game is totally rigged. That doesn’t stop me from playing every day though. Fall Memories by Shutterfly. If you win, remember your online friends and that they desperately need a new photo album. Btw, I’m not getting paid for this in any way.

  • If you have kids and find it challenging to put anything green or fruity in their diet without having it thrown back at you, try making bento lunches. The idea is that if you shape healthy foods and snacks into cute shapes, and give each its own compartment, eating is fun. Check out Biggie’s Flickr Photostream for some ideas and tips for making bento box lunches for your kids. She also has good ideas for making your own bento box lunch. It’ll feel like the first time you brought Lunchables to school.

1) Travis Henry:
Simple costume to do, all you need is a Travis Henry Broncos jersey, 9 plastic baby dolls, and 1 gigantic rolled up joint in your mouth. The 9 baby dolls should be in a stroller, on your shoulder, head, cradled in your arm, attached to your tit, on your legs…all over because, where the hell you gonna keep 9 kids??

  • Talk about CONTROVERSY. Apparently Showtime’s new promotion for their serial killer show Dexter lets the user fill in a death threat message. Fill in a few factoids, press Send, and your recipient will receive a personalized video news clip describing a violent murder, showing a bloodstained wall with their name, and YOU ARE NEXT on it. I sent it to myself and showed it to the boyfriend. It did not go well. Louise Story of the NYTimes sent it to some select family members who most likely are not speaking to her anymore. Check it out, but proceed at your own risk. It seems people don’t like getting death threats, even if they’re fake. Dexter Showtime Promotion by Sliceoflifetv.com

  • Speaking of Halloween and death, how about that old tale of Bloody Mary? Remember how you used to turn the lights off in your bathroom and dare yourself to chant Bloody Mary thirteen times? Here are the origins of this old sleepover spook. Bloody Mary by Snopes.com

  • I used to live in China. I miss it all the time: the people, the food, the culture. That’s why seeing a mistranslated sign like this still makes my day. See more at Engrish.com.

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